Telling people to have kids is just *weird*

And forcing them to give birth is an atrocity

JD Vance looks annoyed. OK. He always looks annoyed.

But JD Vance looks particularly annoyed that people are taking his comments about “childless cat ladies” personally. It’s so annoying to poor JD that people are starting to note that attacking people, particularly women, for not having children is his thing. And it’s hard to figure out what else is his thing. Besides kissing up to any petty tyrant he can find, including Putin, Thiel, and Trump.

Of course, this kind of commentary is designed to be personal because it’s, by definition, not any of JD Vance’s goddamned business. And it’s weird to make it political.

Only a sniveling freak would kick off a vice-presidential campaign by defending comments that make most of the country want to stick his eyeliner in his mouth. But the whole reason he was picked, besides as a gift to two of the aforementioned tyrants, was to bring in MOAR WHITE MEN. They are supposed to relate to him for reasons that only make sense to Don Junior AKA Don-young. Ah Junior, the style icon JD Vance decided to become as one of the conditions, along with a "gross, slick beard," that were in JD’s deal with the devil.

JD’s freakshow launch is a huge reason that the groundswell to call Republicans “weird” is working so well that Republicans can’t help but help grow the groundswell.

The literal “Father of the Nation” did not have kids, and thank the Universe. It’s probably the only reason we don’t have a king. Like Vice President Harris, he had stepkids, who are also known as “kids,” which is great and also not really any of my fucking business.

What is my business is my kid. She has made my life infinitely better, but I probably shouldn’t have had her. My particular childhood trauma put serious landmines in the way of me trying to be a dad. After years of excellent therapy that has only seriously engaged with one of my 12 trauma markers, I’m a far better dad. Not as good as my daughter deserves. But better.

And if you believe JD’s shillbilly self-hagiography, he probably even has experienced more trauma than even this middle-aged man who calls himself LOLGOP, if that’s possible. But, honestly, none of my fucking business. Sorry I even went there.

All of this is to say from personal experience: NOT EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE KIDS. Or maybe they should? Who knows? It’s none of my business.

What is my business is making life better for as many of my fellow humans as possible.

If I actually thought having kids was basically mandatory, I’d focus on a million other real things that are MY BUSINESS: like fixing the HUGE problem of America being the richest country in the world yet being the only rich country without mandated parental paid leave.

Also, I’d make sure every American had health insurance.

Also, I’d pass the child tax credit that Republicans let lapse that brought millions of kids out of poverty.

And since all of that’s impossible because of Republicans, I’d at least be screaming about making pregnancy a “life-changing event” in the eyes of insurers so that every new mom and dad could have a far better chance of getting health insurance.

What I wouldn’t do is lecture anyone or shame anyone or use my new international fame to do both, even if I were a fashy pro-natalist freak. Because people would get how weird that was. They’d see that like this nonsense — like abortion bans that don’t come with increases in aid for children or access to birth control or sex education — is just a weird way to dominate other people you’ll never know or care about, WHICH IS WEIRD. AND HE ALSO WANTS TO FORCE YOU TO GIVE BIRTH, WHICH IS WHERE WEIRDNESS STARTS TO MATURE INTO A WAR CRIME.

You can see why JD Vance and all the JD Vance-types in the GOP are crying about Americans finally seeing their weirdness and, almost as one, pointing and laughing.

I think a big part of this is that Joe Biden being so old and running for office was weird. Much weirder than I was willing to admit at the time, in retrospect. That, combined with six years of MAGA wrecking him and his family often with Russian disinformation, was about all the weirdness we could handle at once.

Like the aforementioned “Father of the Country,” Biden found a way to step aside with maximal grace. Biden exited with a perfect swan dive, allowing the party and the nation to avoid the DEMS IN DISARRAY fantasy of some of the party’s biggest donors, who are genuinely displeased with how pro-worker Joe Biden has been as president.

Normalcy returned to at least one of our two major political parties, America looked up at JD Vance and said, “Who’s this clown?”